The Business Trip.
My darling Mr Eriksson had to manage on his own for a while as the world outside ( Finland) beckoned my presence at a rather serious kiss-arse-begging-for-money conference. I was decked out in my latest tummy tuck-in knickers recently purchased to keep what is all migrating south an illusion that some things are still perky and north if you know what I mean. Thank God for good knickers and decent bras. They can make or break a deal and that is what I call equal opportunities in the workforce, so go figure little Miss Sweden!
I sat down to a set lunch together with the other conference delegates who came from all over the world, Denmark, Norway, Iceland and Stockholm. I was pleased to be seated next to an individual who also came from Stockholm. As we exchanged our introductions of who we were and our respective functions, he asked if I arrived in Sweden as a refugee. I always seem to have this effect on these highly educated, politically, socially aware and extensively world travelled Swedes. We foreigners are all refugees it seems. I just couln't help myself so I said yes, as a matter of fact I did come to Sweden as a refugee and here I am sitting in this conference in Finland selling tupperware, what an amazing life story! It took him a couple of seconds to realise that I was been sarcastic. He didn’t speak to me again through out the lunch.
About being sarcastic and rude, it was sad to read that Sweden’s number one blogger, Alex Schulman has decided to retire from his game but it was just a matter of time. Mr Eriksson always says to me that a monster that is allowed to be given a lot of room ends up taking far too much space. I get it now. He was referring to Mr Schulman.
After much pondering and reading about the issues surrounding his ”literary death”, I come to one conclusion which is my own analysis and that is the Swedes just do not know how to take the piss out of each other without being nasty about it. It’s an art and the Swedes do not have this in their humour cupboard. The Finns however do. In a strange but definite form of self deprecating humour, the Finns do it better and I would say far superior than their Scandic neighbour. Us southern hemisphere folk also master this art rather well, where we can take the piss out of each other without being a dick about it- take notes, Mr Schulman. There is an art form in how to take the piss out of someone or something without character assasinating the subject, again I hope you are writing this down, Mr Schulman. The Swedish psyche seem to be navally earnest and deadly funny but not much to laugh home about.
Speaking about home, on my return I went into the city and just had to stop at the new windows at the PUB department store. I always associated the place with mothballs and old farmer’s wives for some strange reason, but after seeing the windows one certainly gets the idea that PUB has gotten a bit of puffing up. The only damper to the windows is why on earth the KICKS window haven’t got a window display to join with the others? It looks very odd if you ask me. Maybe someone should tell them.
My favourite window has to be the zombie doctor and the naked patient on the operating table. The doctor is a male mannequin and the patient is a female mannequin. It’s all politically incorrect role models! Get it? Ha! ha! I heard that there was a big deal about it being a bit too sexy in a female degrading way. If only people would chase real flesh and bone problems where the penis is more dominant in real life everyday working issues for the vagina. Eller hur?
Fru Eriksson
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